Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab.
What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, he cant hear you.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares.
''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?" Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose." And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces.
Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.