A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile.
The crocodile told him, "Please let me go.
I'll grant you any wish you desire."
The man said, "Okay.
I wish my balls could touch the ground."
So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Similar jokes
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Why do people say 'Grow some balls?'
Balls are weak and sensitive.
If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina.
Those things can take a pounding.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church... everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
Patient: "Doc, recently I've been very careless."
Doc: "How? Give me an example."
Patient: "Now I'm speaking with you, it seems that I'm talking to my dick."
Vote:
What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end.
A toothbrush with toothpaste
Two sperms.
The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?"
The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
Vote:
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her p*ssy.
"Put your finger in me..." she asks him.
So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning.
"Put two fingers in...", she says.
So in goes another one.
She's really starting to get worked up when she says,"Put your whole hand in!".
The guy's like, "Ok!".
So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!".
So the guy puts both of his hands in!
"Now clap your hands..." commands the girl.
"I can't", says the guy.
The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight p*ssy!".
One day little Johnny with his aunt went to a zoo.
Little Johnny pointed to a donkey that had a black and long erected penis more than 20 inches length.
So he asked his aunt what was that.
His aunt responded: "That is nothing"
On the other month when he with his mother went to the zoo accidentally they met the same donkey with his long dick.
Johnny pointing to it said to his mother: "Mommi my aunt told me that it was nothing."
His mother laughed and said: "My dear it is nothing for your aunt!"
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"