‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’
Les Dawson
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Q: What type of bees make milk?
A: Boo-bees.
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked.
One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this.
Yep I was a very dumb child.
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style?
A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
Rudolph the well hung reindeer,
Had a great enormous cock,
All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock,
All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small,
Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all,
Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong...
Fuck my arsehole all night long!"
Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say,
"Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69.
And she said, "No, but I have done 53 that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."
A beautiful woman sits next to a drunk in a bar.
He turns to her and says, ‘Hey, honey.
How about you and me getting it on?
I’ve got a couple of pounds and it looks like you could use the money.’
The woman turns to him and says, ‘What makes you think I charge by the inch?’
Lesbians can also take Viagra.
They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
I haven’t been the same since my testicles dropped.
Mind you, I was hanging from a tree by them at the time.