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Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets.
He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details.
Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money?
Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games.
- Good monkey, it's worth the money.
He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant.
"What does this monkey know?"
"It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad."
"Nice, even I don't know those things."
On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$.
The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details.
"And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?"
"I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
"Knock, knock.Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
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Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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Me: Siri, why am I alone?
Siri: *opens front facing camera*
Why did the Irishman give up internet shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.
Why did the computer get cold?
Because it forgot to close windows.
I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company.
One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh.
The procedure required him to delete an old file.
On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted.
I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash.
Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash."
Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
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Joke has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, IT, marriage, technology