A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger! Beware of Dog’. He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor. ‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper. ‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper. ‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’
Why was the skunk angry? He was incensed.
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.
Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog. For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg. As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.