What did the psychiatrist say to the android kleptomaniac? DON'T keep taking the tablets!
God called Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates to come to a conference. And when they were all there, God said, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is that I'm really fed up with the way things are on Earth; so, I've decided to destroy it. The good news is that I'm giving you one week's notice." So, Bill Clinton called into session the joint houses of Congress and announced, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is there is a God. The bad news is that he's going to destroy the Earth in one week." Boris Yeltsin called into session the Communist Party and announced, "I've got bad news and worse news. The bad news is that there is a God after all. And the worse news is that he's going to destroy the Earth in one week." Bill Gates called all of his programmers, marketing experts and administrators together and announced, "I've got good news and I've got better news. The good news is that God thinks I'm one of the three most important men on Earth. The better news is that we don't have to fix Windows 95."
Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet? He kept logging on and off.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
Someone calls at the hotline: Good evening. I’ve just installed Windows 98... So? Wheel I have a problem... Ok, ok, you just said that...
Windows, the world's first commercially successful virus!
Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
What did the spider do on the computer? Made a website!
An internet maniac boy asks his father: Daddy, why do we have five fingers if the mouse has only two buttons?
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.