Why are baseball players in trouble with the law so often?
They always hit and run.
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A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper.
The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late.
"Where were you? I was worried sick."
"It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?
A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the local Rugby match and Dad can't find the tickets.
Dad: "Nip home and see if I left the tickets there."
Bobby: "No probs, Dad."
Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium.
Bobby: "Yep, they're on the kitchen table where you left them."
Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed.
When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job.
Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!
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All the bases are 90 feet apart in regulation Baseball.
So why does it take a Runner longer to run from 2nd to 3rd than it does from 1st to 2nd?
Simple! Because between 2nd and 3rd there is a 'Short-Stop'!
What does a nigress and an ice hockey player have in common?
They both change their pads after 3 periods.
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Did you hear John McEnroe went for an audition for the latest Harry Potter film?
They turned him down, saying "You cannot be Sirius!"
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan.
When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
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While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
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