A man ask his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?"
Wife says, "I would take half and leave you".
Man says, "Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now f*ck off!
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Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy"
Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good."
Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you.
2 cannibals having dinner.
1st says to 2nd, "Your wife makes a lovely stew."
2nd answers, "Yes but I will miss her."
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror…
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible;
I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
Sex is when a guys communication,
enters a girls information,
to increase the population,
for a younger generation,
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.