Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest. 1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room! 2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it. 3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2. Home he replied to shag the cat!
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
Two crocks rest on the basin of a zoo talking: Yesterday, the caretaker cursed me, said the older one. What did you do? Asks the other. - I’ve swallowed him...
Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny? A: A Cold dog on a bun.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda? A berry bubbly bunny.
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
How do you tell if a black girls pregnant? Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers? A: They have two left feet.
Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot.