Joke #5423

The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race. He turned on the jockey. "Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?" "Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse."

I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."

Q: Why is horse racing so romantic? A: Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.

Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"

Do I have any chance to win? Asks the boxer. Off course! Continue hitting the air and the adversary will shortly get a lung inflammation.

Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet? A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.

Did you hear John McEnroe went for an audition for the latest Harry Potter film? They turned him down, saying "You cannot be Sirius!"

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The way from the cabins to the ring is too long, says the boxer. No worries, on your way back you will come back with the stretcher...

Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?" A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?" "No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"