What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the toilet. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. "So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"
Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen
A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.