They put one man on the moon.
Why can’t they put them all there?
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An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing."
The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
How many men would it take to mop a floor?
No one knows; they've never done it.
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested.
After that, He creaed man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?
A: A dic-tater.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me."
A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."
A man walks into a bar and notices his friend sitting alone staring at a tiny man on the table playing the piano.
"Wow, look how small he is, where did you get him?!" Says the man.
"Oh, well there's this genie round the back of bar, and he grants you whatever wish you want."
Sure enough, the man goes round the back of the bar and there sits a genie.
"You grant wishes right?"
"Yes." replies the genie.
"Hmm, I'd like a million bucks."
Then, out of nowhere, a million ducks appear, and waddle behind the annoyed man as he goes back into the bar.
"Look, that genie gave me ducks instead of bucks!"
His friends sitting at the table replies,
"Well yeah, do you really think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?"
Men are like Bluetooth.
When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.