Joke #995

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1001.....1 to hold the light bulb and 1000 to turn the house.

How many blonde does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 3. One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.

Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? A: From trying to blow out light bulbs.

Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? A1. "What's a light bulb?" A2. One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her. A3. Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? "Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."

A blonde was headed to Detroit. She got on the plane and sat down in first class. A few minutes later, a flight attendent came up to her and told her that her ticket was for coach and she had to move from the seat. She refused. The flight attendent was persistant, but the blonde replied, "No, I want to sit here, I've always wanted to see what it is like in first class." The flight attendent was getting frustrated. Finally, after quite some time, she convinced her to move. Another passenger who overheard the conversation asked the attendent, "How did you get her to move?" The flight attendent replied, "I told her that first class doesn't stop in Detroit."

Blonde cop pulls over blonde motorist. Cop asks the motorist to see her license so the blonde searches in her purse & tells the blonde cop that she must have forgot it at home. The blonde cop asks the blonde motorist does she have any other type of identification so she searches in her purse again, looks at a pocket mirror & says, "I have a picture of myself." The cop asks to see it so the blonde motorist hands over the pocket mirror. The blonde cop looks at it & says, "Well if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over."

What do bleached blondes and jumbo jets have in common? Black boxes.

Did you hear about the blonde who was treated in the emergency room for concussion and severe head wounds? She’d tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.