Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
The teacher asked Willy, "If you have seven cookies and Billy asks you for three, how many cookies have been left with you?" Willy immediately answered, "Seven!"
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? Beer.
If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
Once you go asian you never miss an equation.
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".