The best Santa jokes

If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Santa, Christmas, romantic, flirt
Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
Vote: has 71.99 % from 154 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher, Santa, dad
Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Santa, doctor, elf
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status? A: Elf-employed.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Santa, tax, elf
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Santa
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Santa
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Santa, travel, elf, car
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Santa, accountant, geography, tax, money
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, Santa
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
Vote: has 65.20 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly, Santa