If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status? A: Elf-employed.
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!