The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.
Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.
A golfer was addressing his ball, getting ready to shoot. Just as he was about ready to hit, a voice came over the p.a. system - "Will the gentleman on the lady's tee please move back to the men's tee". He looked up, looked back down and then resumed addressing the ball again. The Voice again - "Will the Man on the Red tees PLEASE MOVE BACK to the White Tees?!" He looked back at the starters shack and yelled, "Will the IDIOT on the p.a. shut up so that the man on the lady's tee can hit his second shot"!
Paddy asks Murphy, 'Why do scuba divers fall off their boats backwards?" Murphy replies, "If they fell forwards they'd still be on the f*cking boat!"
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!" Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.