The best travel jokes

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars." Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't." Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."
Vote: has 62.24 % from 394 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wife, airplane, money, travel
A blonde, a brunet and a red head were in a competition to see who could swim 60 miles accross a river. The brunet swims 30 miles, gets a cramp and drowns. The red head swims accross 30 miles, gets bit by a shark and drowns. The blonde swims 30 miles accross, says: "I'm tired." and swims 30 miles back.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, travel, ginger
What do you call an intelligent man in America? A tourist.
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More jokes about: life, travel
Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, travel, wedding
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, travel, car
Yo momma's so fat when she hauls ass she has to make 2 trips.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, travel, insulting
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, travel, airplane, cat, dog
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”
Vote: has 59.75 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, travel, holiday
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.  The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the toilet. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. "So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, airplane, disgusting, travel
Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped!
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, travel, insulting, music