Best jokes ever

How do you guess a blond played at you’re computer? The joystick is on the chair.
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Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day!
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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
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A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange"!
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Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
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What’s the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
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Yo momma's so fat; she's got her own zip code!
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex? A:Honey I'm home.
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Boy’s father come back from uk & was calling his wife. Boy:- papa mom has died. father slaped boy & said why u dont inform me when i was in America Boy :- i thought i will give u a surprise.
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More jokes about: kids, wife, death