Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris.
There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
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Life’s a bitch, and then you’re reincarnated.
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
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On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
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Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
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Why are marriend women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
How do you shoot a great white shark?
Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
For Chuch Norris, ANYTHING counts in horseshoes and handgrenades.
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