There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.
You realize that you are dependent of the internet when: You forget in what year you are. You get out from you’re room and you discover that you’re parent moved and you don’t even know when that happened. You dream only of quick connections. You open you’re interphone when you get out from you’re room so you can hear when you get an e-mail.
Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.
What do you call a smiling black man? Snigger
Lady, how many sex partners have you had? Three.. oh no, wait... nine - I have forgotten one case.
My husband added some spice to our marriage. He's left home.