Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell.
I used to hate weddings, all the old ladies would prod me and say "you'll be next!" They soon stopped that, when I started saying it to them at funerals !
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger? The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
‘Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, “So, what did you think?”’ Steven Wright
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
She was hungry for love and didn’t know where her next male was coming from.