When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.
Women are looking for Mr. Right. Men are looking for Ms. Right Now.
Agony: a one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.
I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.
Always remember: There is not problem that 6 glasses of wine can't solve.
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."
Remove the shower head and place a chicken bouillon cube in it, then put the head back on.
Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: An instagram
Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.