Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so.
He remind him of Trivette...
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Chuck Norris asked his script writer for more dialogue and the script writer said "Chuck you mean more grunting?"
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, when her boss told her to take her ugly ass home, she came back 10 minutes later without her ass.
Yo mama is so stupid that when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key.
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What's black, smells and has 17 tits?
The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Yo mama is so old that she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.
Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards.
If your girlfriend really needs to talk to you during the game, she'll appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time," would complete a break up.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
Instead of an engagement ring, you could surprise your fiance with a giant "You're #1!" foam hand.
Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur in leap years.
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If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts.
I'm thinking maybe homicide.
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PlayStation network was never hacked.
Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
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