The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
I before E except after Chuck.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?" Chuck Norris is your daddy.
R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.