Best jokes ever

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' Johnny: I is.. Teacher: No, that's not correct Johnny. You should always say, 'I am.' Johnny: Okay, 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
Vote: has 74.65 % from 484 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny
Yo' Mama is so poor, when I asked where her bathroom was, she said, "Fourth bottle from the left."
Vote: has 74.63 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, money
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices. The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000." The client asked, "What? How's that possible?" The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."
Vote: has 74.61 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, hospital, money
While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it off. A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish. The man replys, "What about three?" The genie retorts " Look pal, I'm in a hurry, I've been cooped up in that damn lamp for. . ." "OK, alright" the guy responds. "Tell you what, I'm tired of paying for airplane tickets to Hawaii. I'd like you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii." This pisses the genie off. He screams, "Hey, this isn't the movies. Your wish has to be practical." "Do you know the engineering it would take to design that, the materials it would take, you'd have to compensate for plate techtonics, the continental shelf. . ." "Geez" the guy responds, "Well, I'd really like to understand women." The genie responds "Did you want two lanes or four?"
Vote: has 74.57 % from 741 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, genie, airplane, women
little Johnny: Dad, will you do my math for me tonight? Dad: No, son, it wouldn't be right. little Johnny: Well, you could try.
Vote: has 74.55 % from 157 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny
A guy joined a nudist camp and when he told his mom she didn't believe him. So he sent her a picture of his top half. A week later his grandma wanted a picture but he accidently sent the bottom half. Knowing she had bad eyesight, he didn't think much of it. A week later his grandma wrote a letter saying, that she didn't like his haircut, because it made his nose look too big.
Vote: has 74.54 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
Vote: has 74.54 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, stupid
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
Vote: has 74.54 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, life, wife, church, time
Teacher: Billy, name two pronouns. Billy: Who, me? Teacher: Very good!
Vote: has 74.51 % from 103 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ? There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
Vote: has 74.51 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, programmer