It's a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there he climbs inside the big freezer door and starts to eat ice cream. Three hours go by before the penguin looks at his watch and jumps out of the freezer and races back to the garage. With ice cream all over his face and his stomach he says, "So, how's my car?" The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No, no, no, I was just eating ice cream."
Got home from the pub at 3'o clock this morning. The wife was waiting at the door with a rolling pin. I said to her, "what are you doing..baking..at this time of the night" ?
Yo' Mama is so fat, she gets her nails done at the auto shop.
A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!
Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.
"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't." "How do you know he isn t?" "Because I am."
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she jumped off a cliff and stopped for directions.
Yo mama's so fat, that her MySpace has no space.
Chuck Norris won a soccer game. He was the referee.