Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she walked past the toilet, it flushed itself.
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots? A: Bunny farts!
Chuck Norris digs up gold - from silver linings.
Chuck Norris' feminine side is manlier than the manliest man's manly side.
It has been said that if you name any custom class in Call of Duty "Chuck Norris" you will instantly win every match you set foot in.
Chuck Norris is another name for Terror.
We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.
The facts on this website are Chuck Norris' smallest acheivements. If you knew what he was really capable of, you would never sleep at night.
Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office. But she belonged to someone else... One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a Ł100 if you let me have sex with you." But the girl said, "NO." Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up." She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for Ł200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down." So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened. She responded, "The bastard used coins!"
A college economics professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his student. "And who is known as the father of modern economics?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Wilson, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"