Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up.
A blonde goes to the doctor with both of her ears and her right hand are burned. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor. "I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear." "What about the other ear and your hand?" "I tried to call for an ambulance."
What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Translator.
Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind. The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep." So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!" And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."
Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Lara Rabbit: "Do you think that's Sophie's natural color?" Zara Rabbit: "Only her hare dresser knows for sure."
Yo' Mama is so fat, every time you smack her butt, you can ride the waves.
Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
Scientists invented a machine to catch thieves. In 30 minutes in Canada the machine caught 10 thieves, in 15 minutes in the U.S the machine caught 5 thieves, in 3 minutes in Trinidad thieves stole the machine.