Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because pets can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why did God create brunettes? A: Because the blondes couldn't either.
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.
What's 72? 69 with 3 people watching!
Yo momma so fat, she fell into a black hole and it clogged!
Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
How do you find the population of a Mexican village? Roll a quarter down the street.r
On a military training exercise, the British divisional command radio operators were getting very bored one quiet night, when breaking the silence a voice asked over the air, "Are there any friendly bears listening?" After a moment, another voice replied, "Yes, I'm a friendly bear," and then another voice, "I'm a friendly bear too!" At this point, the Officer at Headquarters grabbed his microphone and let loose a blistering tirade at the operators for fooling around on an radio link. When he had finished, there was silence for about ten seconds. Then a small voice said, "You're not a very friendly bear, are you?"
Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother." Santa - "Send me your mother."
What do Gary Glitter and Napalm have in common? Both can strip the clothes off a small Vietnamese child in under two seconds.