Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns. "Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver. "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99." The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D. There where no survivors.
On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
So the buddhist pulls a gun out of his coat and the vendor says, "Whoa whoa whoa, what about inner peace?". The Buddhist responds "This is my inner piece".
What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.
Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast? A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!
Jill: "How did you find the weather on your vacation?" Bill: "I just went outside and there it was!"
Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife? A: Meet Patty.
Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.