A magician had landed a comfortable job on a cruise ship. His act was rendered hilarious by his parrot who would ridicule the magician after every trick, saying "Big deal, the cards up his sleeve." or "He put the ball in a hidden floor, the big faker!" One night the ship began to sink and while confusion reigned, the magician was just barely able to get to a tiny life boat with his beloved parrot. For two days the magician and parrot floated on the rough seas. Strangely, the parrot sat on the opposite end of the craft just staring at the magician. Finally, on the fourth day, the parrot screamed ‘"kay, I give up… where the hell did you put the god damned boat!"
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.
Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)