The best animal jokes

How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!
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Q: Why couldn't the pony sing? A: Because he's a little hoarse.
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Question: Why does Tigger smell? Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!
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A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."
Vote: has 52.80 % from 348 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, golf, animal, husband, money
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air. Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone." George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore." Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
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What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
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Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.
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Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare.
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What do cows call Frank Sinatra? Old Moo Eyes.
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What do you call an easy-going rabbit? Hoppy-go-lucky.
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