The best Christmas jokes

Your moms like a christmass tree all the guys put there balls on her.
Vote: has 61.40 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, Christmas
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, music, celebrity, Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
Vote: has 59.94 % from 111 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, Christmas, animal, fart
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, kids, family, Christmas, airplane
Yo mama is so fat that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, Christmas, insulting
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
Vote: has 53.18 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, programmer, Halloween, Christmas, geek
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, stupid, animal, Christmas
Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.
Vote: has 49.36 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Christmas, health
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: elf, computer, Christmas, nerd
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Vote: has 46.90 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, dog, animal, Christmas, food