How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ? Mum: What crying man ? William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'
Yo mama is so skinny that she eats a nut and thoughts that she’s pregnant...
Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? A: Anyone can roast beef.
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Yo' Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?" Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. "For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."