What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? (A gummy bear!)
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots? A: Bunny farts!
I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly. Tweet Share
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would've.
How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly? Just a phew.
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called."
What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
Q. Why don't lions eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny.
Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark.
What hair style is a calf's favorite? The cowlick.