What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day? After a week he was spotless.
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!" "There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time. My fee, of course, will be $1,500." Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo.
Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.
What fur do we get from a tiger? As fur as possible!
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was a rough rider!
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."