First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you get away from them? Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round.
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards.
Why did the rabbits go on strike? They wanted a better celery.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight? Sir Loin.
Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay? A: In the bridle suite.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.