Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most?
A: Fry-days.
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Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients?
They hid their own eggs!
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What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.
"Why are you studying your Easter candy?"
"I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night?
A: They don't want to get "beat up".
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. ' You should give that money to charity,' said the shopkeeper.
'No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity!'
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present.
When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video.
He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video.
On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k.
He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough.
Then she turns to the camera.
"Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs.
His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies.
As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies.
He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs.
Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table.
He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies.
Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON’T TOUCH THOSE - they’re for the funeral!"
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck.
There can only be 1 living legend.
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