Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion?
A: It was too current.
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An FM station has a competition where they ring someone up and ask them three personal questions.
Then they ring their spouse or partner and ask them the same three questions.
If the answers are the same, the couple wins a holiday to Bali. Last week the competition went like this:
Presenter: Hello, it's XXX-FM, do you want to play the game?
Brian: Yeah, sure.
Presenter: O.K., Question 1 — when was the last time you had sex?
Brian: Oh, mate. Well, about 8 o'clock this morning.
Presenter: And how long did it go for, Brian ?
Brian: Oh, about 10 minutes.
Presenter: 10 minutes?
Good one.
And where did you do it, mate?
Brian: Oh, mate, I can't say that.
Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here, Brian !
Brian: Okay, okay...on the kitchen table.
Presenter: (much laughter). Good one, Brian. Now, is it okay for us to call your wife?
Brian: Yeah, all right.
Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you?
Sharelle: Hi. Good, thanks.
Presenter: (Explains competition again) We've got Brian on the other line, say hello.
Sharelle: Hi, Brian.
Brian: Hi, Sharelle.
Presenter: Now, Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali.
Brian: Just tell the truth, honey.
Sharelle: Okay.
Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex ?
Sharelle: Oh, no, I can't say that on the radio.
Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them.
Sharelle: Okay. About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to work.
Presenter: Good, nice start! Next question. How long did it go for Sharelle?
Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes.
Co-Presenter: That's close enough...Brian was just being a gentleman.
Presenter: Okay, Sharelle — final question.
Where did you do it?
Sharelle: Oh, no I can't say that. My mum could be listening.
No way, no.
Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here.
Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway.
Just tell them.
Sharelle: Oh, all right. Up the arse!
Radio Silence — Advertising
Presenter: Sorry if anyone was offended before, we're going live here, and sometimes these things happen. We've given Brian and Sharelle the holiday. Now we'll take a music break.
Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns.
"Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver.
"Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99."
The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
Vote:
Kind of surprised hipsters haven't started tying their beard's in man buns yet.
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession?
A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
Q: You know what would make America great again?
A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class?
A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
Vote:
This mothers day, Men all around were criticized for not calling their mothers on such an important day.
But me, I thought of the best way to get out of such a mess.
Heres how the beginning of the Monday after Mothers Day went for me:
Mother: "You know Mike, I was thinking and out of all my sons, you never called me on Mothers Day!"
Me: "You know Mom, I was thinking, and out of all my mothers, you never called me on SON-day!"
Something like this is bound to make her smile and forget, worked with my Mom!
Vote:
Q: How do you drown a hipster?
A: In the mainstream.