Joke #12538

Billy: "I was playing basketball and an Asian crossed me." Mark: "Haha, how does an Asian cross you?" Billy: "Because he crosses multiplies."

Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.

A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said: "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks: "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered: "I think... no... yes... I’m not sure... what about 4?" "Did you say 4?" the smiled coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming: "Come on coach, give him another chance!"

Q: What do you call two Asians playing basketball? A: Ping-Pong

Chuck Norris doesn't solve math - math solves Chuck Norris.

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

What the number one crime in asia? Identity theft.

A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc. A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily. When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!"

There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.

If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left? A million dollars minus 75 cents.

I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.