Joke #13081

Q: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? A: Wrap music!
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, music

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I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
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has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, Halloween, time
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don’t see why not," replies the doctor. "That’s funny," says the man. "I wasn’t able to play it before."
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You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
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has 72.91 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Halloween, redneck, wife
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: doctor, Halloween
A guy walks into a tavern. As he walked up to the bar he noticed a twelve-inch man playing the piano, so he asked the bartender, "What's that all about?" The bartender told him he that would tell him later. So the guy asked the bartender for a drink. The bartender said, "Before you get your drink, you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make one wish." "Okay," said the guy. He went over to the magic beer bottle and rubbed it. Poof. Out came a genie. The genie, of course, said, "You have one wish." The guy thought about it and then wished for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke filled the room, and then both the genie and the guy disappeared. In a few minutes, the guy reappeared back in the bar with a million ducks all around him. The guy was astounded and said to the bartender, "Hey! I didn't want a million ducks." The bartender replied, "Do you think I wanted a twelve-inch Pianist?"
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has 81.70 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: bartender, duck, genie, money, music
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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Q: Know why skeletons are so calm? A: Because nothing gets under their skin.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, Halloween
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
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has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, Halloween, morbid
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween, health, kids