Q: Did you hear about the redneck who was shooting craps?
A: He blew a hole in the toilet.
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A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!"
Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table.
"There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
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You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
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A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck.
The father says "okay, you know what to do."
Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick."
The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark?
A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
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What's black, smells and has 17 tits?
The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
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Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
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Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise?
A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
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What's grosser than gross?
Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue.
What's even grosser than that?
When one of them throws up.
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You know you're a redneck if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.