What did one Christmas tree say to the other?
You've got a lot of balls walking in here dressed like that.
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Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
What did the black kid get for Christmas?
YOUR BIKE!
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One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"
Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
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To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh.
The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?"
So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner?
A: Toast their clients.
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What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?
Answer: "Halo there!"
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