What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
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Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?
A: She went looking for the three guys.
A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his dummy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter.
After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are stupid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs."
Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone."
The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife."
Sara: "Wife?"
Mike: "I'm working on it."
Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself."
Mike: "You too."
Q. What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A. She moved.
Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Did you hear about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
It finally dawned on her.
Q: How many blonde jokes are there?
A: One. The rest are all true stories.
Q: What's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road?
A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's...
There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice.
He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days.
"Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of your diet. Then skip the third day."
So the blonde went home and ate anything and everything she wanted for the first two days, then she skipped the third day.
The next day she went back to the doctor and he asked her, "How is your diet?"
She said, "Well, the first two days were easy but that third day was hard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired."