Joke #1861

What fits your schedule better...... Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day?

Yo mama so fat it took nationwide 3 years to get on her side.

Yo mama so fat when she tossed in her sleep she woke up in another time zone.

I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. So I asked the owner if he had a pair. He shook his head. "I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year."

Yo mama so fat she needed two wrist watches cause shes in two time zones.

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.

Yo mama is so fat it took her three whole months to get through a door.

"Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones!"

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.

A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where Upon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russian." Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again Silence. The calm Finnish voice calls out again: "One Finn is better than one thousand Russians from: The enraged Russian commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought... Then silence. Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men...it's a trap. There's two of them."