Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?
A. They're called Dikes.
They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
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The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday.
I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
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A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous.
"My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?"
"I'd say you're a lesbian!"
Lesbians can also take Viagra.
They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?
A. Finger painting.
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Yo mama's so fat that, after sex I rolled over twice and was still on the bitch!
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls.
To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion.
Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor.
“Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief.
But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.”
“What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously.
“Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.”
“Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully.
“That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.”
“Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened.
“It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”
Did you hear about the two lesbians who bought an organ so they could play hymns?
Harry is better at sex than anyone he know.
Now all he needs is a partner.
Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic?
A: Snap-on tools!