And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.
What do you call of 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.
So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
Two hunters are out in the wood when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"
Two cannibals were having lunch. "Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other. "Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other "I don't like your friend." The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
Daddy to his son: I don't care if you are dating a black girl - they are all pink on the inside.
How do you stop an Iraqi tank? "Just shoot the guy that's pushing it!"
Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree. He's been hanging there for quite a while.
Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer." "Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!" God replies, "You better send them up here immediately." Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them." God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you." Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"