Joke #3719

Why do bears have fur coats? (Because they look silly wearing jackets!)
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Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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What is black and white and red all over? (A panda bear with a sunburn!)
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A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Vote: has 71.62 % from 96 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, women, baby, animal
Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!
Vote: has 73.38 % from 175 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, school, dad
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Vote: has 33.86 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, money, food
What's the difference between a black guy and a elevator ? The elevator can raise a child.
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More jokes about: racist, black people, kids
Where does a boat go when it is sick? The dock.
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Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole. The next door neighbor saw him and asked; "Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?" "My goldfish died, and I have to bury it." "Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?" "Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your stupid cat!"
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, fish, cat, death, stupid
"Mommy! Do Angels fly?" "Yes, they do my love!" "Then, when will our nanny fly? Dad calls her 'My Angel' all the time!" "Tomorrow, my child, she'll fly as far as she goes..."
Vote: has 81.57 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, love, dad
My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
Vote: has 77.94 % from 392 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, age, kids, dad