The vicar never entertained lewd thoughts – they always entertained him.
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Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms?
A: So gay guys can play star wars.
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon.
That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
How do you know if your wife wears tights in bed?
Her toes curl up when you screw her.
‘Sex for an old guy is a bit like shooting pool with a rope.’
George Burns
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
A girl married with a man who had only one foot.
Next day her mother rang her and asked: "My little tell me how did U feel the marriage?"
Her daughter replied: "Woo real splendid; alas he has only one foot!"
Her mom answered: "You must be too lucky, when I married your dad; he had only one inch!"
I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said:
"What'ya have?"
I said: "Suprise me."
He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife.
I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?"
"Everyone did" he replied..."