Why are old socks good for golf? Because they have eighteen holes.
What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court? Annette!
I thought I told you to lose weight. Says the coach. What happened to your three week diet that I told you to keep? Well, I finished it in three days!
There once was a man who decided to go scuba diving one day. So he went to the deepest part of the beach, got on his gear, and went underwater. He decides to go down 20 feet, and there he sees another guy with no equipment on. The man thought this was strange but we forgot about it and went down another 20 feet. There, he sees the same guy down there with no gear on. But the man decided to forget about it and go down another 20 feet. When he does, he sees the same guy 60 feet underwater with no gear on. Finally the man writes a note asking this guy how he can go so deep underwater without any gear. The guy writes back, ''Because I'm drowning, asshole!''
Q:Why is basketball the grossest sport there is? A:Because they dribble all over the court.
The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.
Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball. "I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition." "Batted .007," his wife added.
The Winter Olympics. Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.
Why is basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with disappointments.
Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.