He was a colourful boxer. Black and blue all over.
What’s the difference between an aerobics instructor and a torturer? The torturer would apologize first.
Yo' Mama is like a hockey player, she doesn't change her pad for three periods.
Why are football stadiums always cool? "Because they're full of fans."
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."
A man farts in bed next to his wife. His wife asks, "What in the world was that?" He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing." She decides to get even, so she lets one loose. He yells at her, "What was that?" She replies, "Touchdown, tie score." He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."
There was a tragic end to the water polo championships – all the horses drowned.
When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants. High five!
Four nuns were attending a baseball game. Four men were sitting directly behind them. Because their habits were partially blocking the view, the men decided to badger the nuns hoping that they’d get annoyed enough to move to another area. In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I’m going to move to Utah. There are only 100 nuns living there." Then the second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Missouri, there are only 75 nuns living there." The third guy said, "I want to go to Texas, there are only 50 nuns living there." The fourth guy said, "I want to go to Maine. There are only 25 nuns living there." The mother superior turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet and calm voice said, "Why don’t you go to hell, there aren’t any nuns there!"
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.